Lovable?

Ok...I'm feeling a little raw after this layout...But, I'm really glad I did it. This feeling is a major part of who I am and what I struggle with on a daily basis. It also is a major learning experience...the impact parents have on their children. I'm so glad I got to see this. AND I make sure Kelly knows on a daily basis she is loved and lovable. I'm sure she'll still have some demon herself to overcome and learn from...but it can at least be different than mine!

The journalling reads: I have to admit I have struggled with this concept for what seems like forever. I'd have to say it probably started in my childhood. My Dad would always ask if I was the tallest, smartest, fastest, best-est, etc... I never was. I was always 1 or 2 behind the "est". I would always see the disappointment in his eyes when he heard. My Dad has never been good with showing emotion; so I would take the lack of "I love you's" and the disappointment as I'm just not lovable. Now I know better. He just wanted the best for me, wanted me to succeed and thought I needed to be those things to do so. Yet, I struggle with not feeling good enough on a daily basis. Always striving to do things better and always just not feeling loved. I sooo want to break through this! And I know it starts with me...just apreiciating what I do and acknowledging on a daily basis that it is good enough, that I am lovable! Yet, that demon is always around the corner sabatoging my self-confidence and I just don't know how to get rid of him!

The Scrapperie is an awesome site with some awesome people providing support, inspiration, and fellowship!! Colleen puts out a blog question of the day to inspire us and our blogs. I usually don't participate since I keep this blog scrapbook related. But today it is kind of a tag game...How cook is that! So...here I go...
1. My 2 favorite scrapbook topics are my daughter and husband!
2. The 2 best places I've been to are The Big Island, Hawaii and Virgin Gorda of the British Virgin Islands
3. 2 things I do everyday are well...biological...eat and ....
4. The 2 things everyone knows about me are that I scrap and I'm married with a daughter.
5. The 2 places I wish to visit are the Redwoods and Yellowstone National park to see the gysers!
6. 2 things you may not know about me are: I'm addicted to diet coke and have 2 degrees --> engineering and master's in computer science. I guess I'm an over educated mommy! LOL!

Ok...So I tag Colleen and Meg! Have fun ladies!

Happy New Year!

I cannot believe 2007 is over and 2008 has already started. 2007 was a year of change:

• Mike started working in Iowa in July. He travels to Iowa on Sunday night and comes home Friday night. It has been stressful on the family and we can't wait to get the house sold to get our family back together again!
• Our adoption agency finally received their accredidation in Russia!!! Yeah!! This process can finally get rolling again and hopefully by this summer we will have a new addition to our family!
• I found scrapbooking on the internet! I did not know there were sooo many message boards/kit clubs/blogs out there! It is amazing the friendships I have created/inspiration I have received and beautiful kits!
• I joined 2 design teams...I didn't even know these existed until 2007! And wow, what an honor to design for the Scrapperie Paper Kit Boutique and Moxxie!!! This has been a very fun and creative experience.
• I started staffing again for Pathways. I love these seminars and was soo glad to be on the January and April Basic teams! I really missed being a part of staffs...Staffing is something that I am very passionate about. The ability to support others to finding and realizing their dreams is incredible! I really missed that while in GA! If you are ever looking for something to jumpstart your passion, dreams, goals, relationships, whatever...Pathways is something to try!

So, what do I want to accomplish in 2008? I usually don't set goals/resolutions/expections. One reason is I'm very spontaneous and like to live in the moment and I find goals somewhat restrict this. Another reason I don't is because I don't want to fail. But I felt like with all the change going on in my life...with more coming up --> a move and addition to the family, that I really needed to focus on me. So, I set some goals this year and they all revolve around balance. Creating more of a balance in my life. I do really well with being a mother, supportive wife, friend, homemaker, scrapper, etc...that I found I have left taking care of me last or non-existent. So, in 2008 I want to:

• Live a healthier life. This means eating healthy, exercising, and taking care of myself. I want to lose 48 pounds. I can't believe I have let this much weight creep on. But there it is...on a public forum.
• Be appreciative/positive/thankful. I seem to always focus on the negative, what I don't have, the down side and I have to admit this leads to a LOT of stress! I started in novemeber with a gratitude mini album (which I want to finish) and want to continue this on a daily basis!
• Create some Janet time for massages, manicures/pedicure, spa treatment type stuff. I think I need the down/detox type time. I used to think scrapping was enough (and yes I do think scrapping is therapy), but I found out this weekend that sometimes it is good to walk away from everything and regroup!
• I'd also like to create monthly date nights. It has been rough with the hubby out of town all week and I'd like for us to reconnect!

Well...I think that is it for now, but I think these goals are a living thing in themselves. They will change and morph with me as I do!