Reality check

You ever feel like you are just avoiding reality? I mean...you know you need to eat 5 fruits and veggies a day, take a vitamin, drink plenty of H20, and exercise. I LIVED this way for many years, then I had Kelly...and whammo...it all went out the door. Now, the only form of exercise for me is typing...I'm mean that counts...right?

I finally went to the DR today because my allergies are just out of control...I can't even breathe anymore. I had been avoiding seeing a DR 'cause I hate finding a new one and I'm tired of the "you are fat" lecture. Well, I didn't get the lecture, but the blood pressure was high again.

REALITY...I'm turning 44 this summer, have a 5 yr old and am hoping to have a son by the end of the year. If I don't start taking care of myself will I even see them graduate HS and stuff?

I guess the bottom line is that I'm just disgusted with myself and the choices I've been making. I'm tired of the excuses I use, yet...for some reason I just don't see myself changing. I know that if I had to choose between cooking dinner and ordering take out...take out would win hands down!

Yet...I am making some progress...I lost 12 pounds since the end of december (although I found a couple of those over the last month or so)...I'm actually drinking water right now instead of diet coke...and I have cooked more over the last week than I have over the last 6 months. I find myself slipping down that negativity trail -- always seeing the bad things I do and never the good -- and it gets soooo deep that I just get stuck and forget to look for the good.

So...maybe I need to just take some small steps...So I can have little celebrations along the line. So here are some committments:

• Once I can breath again (I now this sounds like an excuse), I'll be doing some form of exercise at least 3 times a week...walking or a video or some bike time.
• Go back to the WW meetings...they really help motivate me
• Drink water
• Take a vitamin

A step is a start!